Kuki vs Freddy
by Bloody Simpson Chibi
Summary: A sweet but kinda stupid catgirl named Kuki and her friend Doka attend a sleepover on Elm Street. How will they react when a deformed psycho begins haunting their dreams! Rated T for gore, violence, language and a brief mention of vomit. (CRACKFIC!)


**Kuki vs. Freddy**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own A Nightmare on Elm Street**

It was a busy night at Scalene's new house. With her parents out of town and pizza on the way, she and her friends were having a pretty fun sleepover.

"All right Maxie. Truth or Dare?"

"Ummm...d-dare?" said Maxie.

"I dare you to make out with the electrical outlet!" Scalene pointed to an outlet that apparently had not aged well. Maxie gulped as she bent down and prepared to tongue the circuit. Just then there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Scalene said with a groan. The busty blonde opened the door and saw her two greatest fears: Kuki the catgirl and her lame friend Doka.

"Hiya Scalene!" Kuki shouted. "Sorry we're late. The post office must of mixed up our invitations and we almost didn't know you were having a sleepover!" Kuki slipped into the house leaving Doka to confront an enraged Scalene.

"What the hell are you losers doing here?"

"Look Scalene." Doka began "I know you didn't invite me or Kuki and frankly I would rather be at home watching Yao-I MEAN NONPORNOGRAPHIC CARTOONS!

The sound of Maxie screaming in pain could be heard from inside.

"Anyway... Could you just let Kuki have this? She never gets to do things like this."

Scalene thought for a moment.

"Come on Scalene! Two more- AAAAAARRRGGGHH! people aren't going to hurt." Maxie said.

"Ugh. Fine!" Scalene yelled. "But don't expect any special treatment."

"Fine by me." Doka entered the house just before it started to rain outside.

" _Damn!"_ Scalene thought. _"If she had just stayed out a few more seconds."_

"AAAAARRRGGHHH!" Maxie fell to the floor, her hair singed from her makeout session with the outlet.

"Silly Maxie! You can't become a Pikachu by kissing the outlet!" Kuki giggled before making a serious face and saying in a serious tone. "I tried."

The Loxo Twins, Sai and Mai, began snickering at Maxie's pain. Maxie feebly picked herself up and faced Kuki.

"ku-ku-Kuki. Tr-Truth or D-Dare?"

"Truth!" Kuki shouted.

"D-D-Do you li-like Moku Renzi?"

Kuki blushed so hard her entire face disappeared.

"Well...you see...I, uh..."

"It's ok-k." Maxie stammered. "I like him too."

"He's so handsome!" Kuki shouted.

"And kind."

"Moku-Senpai!" Kuki shouted.

There was another knock on the door.

"Pizza!" A man shouted from outside.

"OMG! Pizza!" Kuki shouted.

"Think there's enough for everyone?" Doka asked Scalene.

"I suppose." She said in a mood.

The girls ate pizza and continued their game of Truth or Dare. About an hour later, when they were once again discussing Moku Renzi, Kuki fell asleep.

"Mmmmm. Can someone turn the AC on? It's hot." Kuki cried sleepily. The heat became unbearable and she woke up to find herself in a boiler room.

"What the? This isn't the living room. Kuki jumped at the sound of metal scraping against metal. She turned around and saw a man standing in the shadows. He smiled, showing his rotten teeth. He raised his right hand, which appeared to be clawed and beckoned to the frighted catgirl.

"Here kitty kitty." Without warning, the man rushed at Kuki who was to scared to move. He raised his claws to strike and prepared to slash the hapless catgirl.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"Kuki! Wake up!" Kuki found herself back in the living room surrounded by everyone, except for Maxie who was asleep on the couch. .

"It's ok Kuki. You were just having a nightmare." Doka reassured.

"A really scary nightmare! There was a scary cowboy man chasing me.!"

"Scary Cowboy Man?" Scalene asked. "The fuck? Are you 12?"

"Oh my god!" Doka exclaimed. "Kuki, what happened to your shirt?"

Kuki, understandably confused, looked down at her shirt and saw four claw marks.

"Awww! Poor thing scratched holes in her shitty shirt." The Loxo twins giggled.

"You do realize catgirls don't have claws, right?" Doka asked.

"Shut up nerd!" Scalene shouted.

"It was the Scary Cowboy Man!" Kuki screamed. "He had claws on his fingers!"

"Kuki!" Doka shouted. "That's physically impossible. Dreams cannot hurt yo-

Doka's lecture was interrupted by Maxie's screams. The girls turned around to see Maxie twisting and turning violently in her sleep, as if someone was attacking her.

"Please Mr., Don't touch me there. NOT IN THE BUTT!"

"What the hell is going on here?" Scalene asked.

All of a sudden, Maxie was thrown off the couch and against the wall. She was dragged across the wall to the ceiling where her stomach was sliced open, Her entrails fell on the girls, causing Scalene to scream. Maxie's lifeless corpse then fell to the floor.

The girls looked at the corpse for a few minutes, than looked at each other and then screamed.

"Oh my god! Maxie's dead!" Scalene cried.

"Someone call the police!" Mai said.

"I can't! Me and Doka didn't bring our phones!" Kuki said.

"We didn't bring ours either." Sai said.

"My parents took mine because I Snapchatted my daddy setting his hair on fire!" Scalene cried. "Quick! Check Maxie's pockets!

"I already did that." Doka said. "This is what's left of it." She held an Iphone that was broken in two. The lower half fell off.

"We have to get the neighbors!" Kuki ran to the front door and pulled the door open. But as she was about to step outside, she was soaked with rainwater."

"Oops. Forgot about the storm." She squeaked.

"Great! We're trapped with a dream demon in my own house!" Scalene cried.

"Ok. First of all, you guys aren't going to get the neighbors because of some damn rain? Second, there's no such thing as a dream demon." Doka said.

"Then how do you explain Maixe!" Kuki cried.

"Uhhhhh..."

"Exactly! So shut up!" Scalene said. "Our only choice now is to stay awake until morning. "

* * *

A few hours passed. The girls were exhausted but determined to stay awake for fear of dying. Doka had made coffee for all of them and when they ran out, they broke into Scalene's Dad's stash of energy drinks. They were currently watching a two-hour infomercial about the joys of engine oil. Scalene felt nature calling and dragged herself to the bathroom.

"I can't believe I've been up for 5 hours." She grumbled to herself. After she finished, she began stumbling back to the living room. All the other girls were gone but sitting on the couch was a man with a fedora and a red-and-green striped sweater.

"Hi Scalene!" He said.

"Who the hell are you!?" Scalene screamed. She noticed his burned skin and his right hand held behind his back.

"The name's Freddy. But you can call me your worst nightmare."

"I'm not scared of you. Even if you are creepy and burned. You think your're all hot shit because you pick on teenage girls, but when my daddy comes home, he's goona sue the pants off of you. You'll be-"

"Hey bitch."

"What?"

Freddy pointed behind Scalene. Confused, Scalene turned around and was greeted with four razor-sharp blades connected to a hand. Two of the blades gouged out her eyes and the other two impaled her ears. Scalene screamed in pain.

"Sorry for the eyesore. I just wanted to pick your brain." Freddy brust into laughter as he pulled Scalene's eyes and ears out and off her head. His hand returned to it's normal length. Freddy licked the blood of his claws.

* * *

"OH MY GOD! SCALENE!" Sai screamed. The girls watched in horror as Scalene writhed on the living room floor, her eyes and ears gone. After a minute of frantic screaming and squirming, Scalene stopped moving.

"Holy shit! Now Scalene's dead." Mai screamed.

"That's a bad word." Kuki said.

"Can it, flea bag!" Mai shouted. "What are we going to do?"

"Don't panic." Doka said. "No matter what, we have to stay awake!" Doka then realized both of the Loxo Twins had fallen asleep. As the Sandman pulled her under as well, her last thought was "Dammit!"

* * *

Mai and Sai found themselves in a doctor's waiting room. After a few minutes of confusion, The P.A announced that it was time for the Loxo Twin's checkup. The twins exchanged nervous glances and entered the room where a nurse was waiting for them.

"The Doctor will be in shortly." The nurse said as she left the room. The twins became very afraid.

"What the hell is going on?" Mai asked.

"Shit if I know?" Sai replied. All of a sudden, leather straps tied both girls to a bed, one for each of them. They both struggled with their binds to no avil. A man entered the room in bloody scrubs, his face burnt and his teeth rotten.

"Don't worry ladies." The man said as he brandished the scalpels going out of his fingers. "This won't hurt a bit.

* * *

Doka found herself in complete darkness. The sound of a restless crowd could be heard from the other side of the blackness that was in front of her.

"Where am I?" She asked herself.

The darkness was parted, revealing itself to be the shadows of a curtain and Doka's whereabouts to be a stage. Well-dressed men and women were seated. They took one look at Doka and broke out into laughter.

Confused, Doka looked down at herself and realized that all of her clothes were gone. She was completely naked.

"Oh come on!" She sheepishly said as she covered herself. "Isn't this a little cliche?"

"One man's cliche is another man's classic." A bald burned man in a suit and tie and a bladed glove on his right hand appeared.

"No..You can't be real!" Doka shouted.

"I'm very real bitch!" The man tried to slash Doka but she dodged it and punched him in the face as hard as she could. Then she ran away.

"Little bitch!" He shouted.

* * *

Doka's eyes snapped open to see Kuki covered in blood.

"Kuki! Are you hurt?" She asked frantically.

"No. This is Mai and Sai's blood." Kuki pointed to the Loxo twins, who were almost unrecognizable. Mai's arms where sewed where Sai's legs should be and vice versa. Both girls had their eyes gouged out and their teeth smashed in.

"Oh god." Doka almost vomited. As she put her hand over her mouth to hold back the puke, she noticed a tooth embedded in her finger.

"No way. I-I pulled this out of my dream." Doka turned to Kuki.

"Kuki! I pulled this tooth out of my dream! Do you know what this means!?"

"Your finger is going to get a visit from the Tooth Fairy!"

"Wha- No! It means we can pull the man from our dreams into our world and surrender him to the authorities! Of course I'll have to set some traps first." Doka thought for a minute.

"Kuki. I'm going to make some traps and then pull the man back out. Whatever you do, don't fall asleep."

"Yes Ma'am" Kuki saluted Doka with her tongue out and her eyes derped.

"Okay." Doka ran off the find supplies for the traps. Kuki sat there for a full minute, than fell asleep.

* * *

"Turn down the heat." Kuki whined as she awoke. She noticed that she was in the boiler room again."

"Oh man!" She squeaked.

"Here kitty, kitty." The Scary Cowboy Man was creeping up to Kuki, his blades ready to slash at her again. Kuki began to panic until he came close enough that she could see his face. Then she noticed something.

"PIZZA!"

"Uh..what?" Before the man could react, Kuki sank her somewhat sharp teeth into his cheek, purring loudly as she did so. The man howled in pain and pushed Kuki away, ripping his cheek in the process..

"What the hell did you do that for?" He shouted.

"Ewww!" Kuki removed the piece of skin from her mouth. "This does not taste like pizza."

"That's not pizza you dumb bitch!" The man snatched the skin from Kuki's hands and reattached it to his face. "That's my face!"

Kuki gasped. "Oh my god! You need some aloe vera." Kuki pulled a tube of aloe out of nowhere and began squirting it on the man's face.

"Gah! St-Stop it! Stop squirting me!" The man slashed the tube into four pieces with his blades."

"Do you know who I am?" The man asked.

Kuki stared and him for a minute. "Scary Cowboy Man?"

"Scary Cowboy Man!? I'm Freddy fucking Krueger! Where the hell did you get "cowboy" from?"

"Your hat."

"My hat?"

"Can I try it on?"

"No!"

"Please!"

"No way!"

"Please!" Kuki had tears in her eyes.

"Alright fine!" Freddy gave her the hat which put on, purring with content. Then Kuki noticed his head.

"Tee hee. Your're bald." She teased.

"No I'm not! My hair was just burned off."

"Oh. Is that why your face looks like pizza?"

"MY FACE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A PIZZA!" Freddy yelled. "Give me my hat back!" He ripped the hat off of Kuki's head, causing her to tear up.

"You're mean!"

"I'm supposed to be mean, I'm a fucking killer!"

Kuki gasped again. "YOU'RE THE ONE MADE MY FRIENDS DIE!"

"That's right. I kill kids like you in their nightmares!" Freddy laughed maliciously.

"Wait, so I'm dreaming right now?" Kuki asked.

"Yes." Freddy said.

"That means I can do anything I want! I can grow big!" Kuki suddenly grew 15 meters tall, breaking the roof of the boiler room with her head.

"What the fu-" Freddy had to jump out of the way to avoid being crushed by Kuki's foot.

"I can make a lot of me!" The giant Kuki bellowed before splinting into hundreds of little Kukis. Freddy found himself drowning in a sea of annoying catgirls.

"Someone help!" Freddy shouted.

The Kukis melted into one once again.

"I can-"

"Stop!" Freddy shouted. "Just stop! Please!"

"Stop what?"

"Just stop!" Freddy had to take a few breathes. "Okay look." I going to go ahead and leave you and that dark-eyed bitch alone."

"You won't try to come into our dreams?" Kuki asked.

"No!" Freddy shouted. "I can't take another minute with you." And with that Freddy turned and left.

"Damn bitch gave Hockey Puck a run for his money."

Kuki watched Freddy as he walked away.

"Daww." She said. "I wanted to ask about his butt-scratcher."

* * *

Kuki woke up to the sounds of birds chirping and dogs barking outside. It was morning. Kuki noticed that Doka wasn't around and got up to look for her. She tried every room in the house before she got to the master bedroom.

"Hey Doka. Are you EEEEEK!" An upside-down sledgehammer nearly hit Kuki's head.

"Sorry Kuki" Doka said. "I'm setting some traps for the monster when I pull him out."

"Oh you don't have to. He left."

"What do you mean he left?"

"For some reason, he said he wasn't going to invade our dreams anymore. Something about hockey and running from money."

Doka knew Kuki since they were kids. So it didn't take her too long to realize what had happened.

"Dammit!" Doka said. "I mean I'm glad we're alive and all but I was up all night setting traps!" Doka fell to the floor in defeat. Kuki stared at her friend for a few moments before asking "Do you wanna get some breakfast?

Doka looked up and smiled.

"Sure."

 **(Well here it is. My first fanfic in forever. I hope it's okay. In case you can't tell: Yes, it is a crack fic. Hope you enjoy.)**


End file.
